I smiled today. I even laughed a bit. While I was sitting with Savannah I was in tears knowing that I would never be able to do that again with Olivia but just then she opened her eyes again. This time she looked straight at me as if to say "I know your hurting mommy but it will all be okay, please be strong for Addie and I" She closed her eyes again. When I told "our nurse" that she opened her eyes "our nurse" seemed stunned and said that she hasn't ever seen her with her eyes open. She then went to ask the doctor and other nurses if they had ever seen her with them open and everyone said no. Turns out she's never (been seen) opened her eyes without me being there beside her. I've only seen it twice but it feels like she's saving it for me and that's so special.
I got to touch Addisyn today!!! I got to put one finger in her tiny little hand. Her heart rate stayed the same and her oxygen stats were perfect! Savannah's still a little too sensitive to be touched yet but hey we're getting somewhere. "Our nurse" was there with me while I got to hold her hand and she held my other hand while I cried but today they weren't tears of sadness they were tears of joy.
What I've learned over the past days and weeks is every day is a new beginning and the past is the past, some days are high days and some days are "one foot in front of the other days". But everyday is worth a smile because a smile is worth a thousand words.
You are so strong Jenna! You inspire me!
ReplyDeleteYour strength is so admirable. In the midst of the worst time of your life you are able to find strength in your girls and they are there for you and need you. You are in my thoughts and prayers. My heart aches for you and my mind questions why these things happen.
ReplyDeleteYour girls will lift you up and help you continue find the strength to continue on. The world is a bit darker without Olivia but the heavens just became the brightest they have ever been with her.
Wishing you peace and strength today and continued good health for your girls.
During the NICU ride with a micro-preemie there are a lot of one foot in front of the other days. All you can do is get yourself through each hour, and as you've already realized just grip to anything that can give you a smile or a small bit of hope.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts, courage, and prayers are with you.
This made me tear up. Still praying hard for you and your girls. So glad Savannah and Addie are doing well.
ReplyDeleteThis is a fake blog! She is a fourteen year old girl PRETENDING to have triplets and making a fool of those who have lost a baby!
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