Friday, January 21, 2011
I Lay Down and I Don't Want To Get Back Up
I don't know how I'm going to type this. 1:30 am Thursday morning we got the call no mother ever wants to get. Olivia had stopped breathing on her own and was now depenant on the life support. When we got to the hospital I couldn't walk through the doors. We got to hold Olivia one time each first I did then Gabe held her when it was time to take her off life support he gave her back to me so I could hold her for the last time. She took her last breath at 3:08 am. That was the hardest thing I've ever done. In the moment I saw everything we had planned for her, her first steps, her first day of school, her first date, her prom, her wedding it was like seeing her whole life flash in front of my eyes. We gave her kisses and hugs and let her go. I have been crying non-stop since Thursday morning. I lay down and I don't want to get back up. I don't know how I'll keep going.